I'm such an idiot...!
I can't belive I keep coming back or more when I know that all I get is acts of pity.

Well just so you will understand my self-bashing I'll tell you a little story.
It's about me, who one day looked up at this other girl. And from that very moment that girl became my whole world...

She already know how I feel for her cuz I sorta said it indirectly after drinking like a whole box of wine.
But I feel that if I should be allowed to say that i am truly in love I have to say it straight to her face..
Well last night she slept over and about 1 am we went out smoking on my roof. [ I live on the third floor which is top, so it's kind of a pretty view.. ]
Anyways, I felt like it was the perfect place and time so I said it.. [ Though I said it kind of quietly and while looking down at my folded legs.. Blushing like hell too.. >///< ]
I know that she doesn't feel the same for me plus she already have a "friend with benefits" if you know what I mean... But she said:
I love you too honey, just in another way...
Then I asked if I could kiss her and yet again I looked down.. Then she lifted my head up and kissed me. [And by that I do not mean like a quick kiss but we did not make out... It was one of those sweet, gentle and romantic kisses...]
Then she held me in her arms and we sat there for I don't know how long... I lost track of time.

And I know that there will never be anything between us. And as long as she's happy I am totally fine with loving her on my own even though it hurts...